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The 2019 Muddy Stilettos Awards

24th April - 22nd May 2019

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Fromage-free Valentine’s ideas

Sure, you can enjoy a meal for two... or how about burlesque, vintage films, comedy or, err, a dissection?

There are heaps of great places to enjoy a fantastic meal for two around Valentine’s Day but if you like your dates a little more off-beat here are a few more original ways to have a good time with – or without – a beau in tow. Not a bucket of cellophane-wrapped roses in sight.

Must have GSOH? 

On Valentine’s Day itself get yourself a date with Lucy Porter. The reliably good comedian is at Komedia, Brighton using her own anecdotes to illustrate how you must pick your battles in these enraging times. Handy for when you’re having that ‘who does most around the house’ argument again. Tickets are £14.

Cross-dressing capers

Bless ’em, the RSC Live are broadcasting Shakespeare’s rom com Twelfth Night at various cinemas through the land on 14 Feb. Viola falls in love with Orsino, who dotes on Olivia, who falls for Viola but is idolised by Malvolio. There’s a woman dressed as a man, a man flaunting his garters and another who may not be as straight as his friend thought. All good stuff. Put your postcode in the search box for your nearest participating cinema – there are heaps across Sussex.

Undressing vapours

Get hot under the collar at the Wam Bam Club – an evening of burlesque and more at the Capitol Theatre, Horsham on Fri 16 Feb. Circus, comedy and music are all part of the mix as the Wam Bam Belles & Buff Boys are joined by international cabaret acts and feisty mistress of ceremonies Lady Alex. Tickets are £25.

Get funky

I saw in New Year with South Coast Soul Review – they were fantastic and worked super hard to make sure everyone had a good night. It’s a big ‘ol eight piece band with two singers, sax, the works, doing crowd-pleasing soul and funk covers. Catch them in this Valentine’s special at Shoreham’s Ropetackle on Sat 10 Feb. Tickets are £15.

Vintage vibes

Kick things off early, on Fri 9 Feb in fact, at Worthing’s Connaught Studio with a screening of 1988 film Cocktail starring Tom Cruise back when he was a little less weird. It’s all drink flipping and love triangles. Standard tickets are £7 but if you upgrade to grab a VIP one you can load in some food and drink. On Sun 11 Feb you can go even further back in time with a screening of Cassablanca at Brighton’s Duke of York’s Picturehouse.

Love you to death

On Valentine’s night the True Crime Museum in Hastings is opening its doors after hours for Love & Death tours in an eerie, yet potentially romantic cave setting. Tickets are £20 per couple including a glass of bubbles and some ‘Killer Couple Trivia’.

Star-crossed lovers

Quit gazing into each others’ eyes and look skywards instead. As part of the annual Dark Skies Festival you can cosy up for a bit of guided astronomy. The are events around V-day at Pulborough Brooks (where they’re throwing in hot choc) and Herstmonceux on Fri 16, and at Battle Abbey on weekends either side. Just don’t do the whole ‘love you to the moon and back’ thing – please.

Matters of the heart

Here’s the ultimate non-sentimental Valentine’s night out. If you’re a curious and you’re not squeamish (or, perhaps if you’re feeling a little bitter about the whole love thing) then come and watch a heart being dissected – yes, really. Anatomy Night: Matters of the Heart is part of Brighton Science Week. Medical school peeps will be doing the honours. They’ll even show you where your heartstrings are if you haven’t passed out beforehand.  It’s £4 with the proceeds going to charity and takes place at The Walrus on Ship Street so you can get some Dutch courage at the bar.


Find more ideas here

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