Sussex

When you want something different for a wedding, funeral or other ceremony and don&#8217;t think a vicar, priest or registrar is right for you, you can call on a celebrant to work with you on something unique. But just how weird and wonderful will they go&#8230;? Very according to Sussex-based Claire Bradford of <a href="https://creatingceremony.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Creating Ceremony</a> who won Celebrant of the Year at the National Wedding Awards last year. She told us all about her fascinating world and how a celebrant works.
<div id="attachment_37521" style="width: 1010px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img aria-describedby="caption-attachment-37521" decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="size-full wp-image-37521" src="https://sussex.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Annamarie-Stepney-annamariestepney.co_.uk_-1.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="713" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Annamarie-Stepney-annamariestepney.co_.uk_-1.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Annamarie-Stepney-annamariestepney.co_.uk_-1-300x214.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Annamarie-Stepney-annamariestepney.co_.uk_-1-768x548.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Annamarie-Stepney-annamariestepney.co_.uk_-1-701x500.jpg 701w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" />Anna Marie Stepney (annamariestepney.co.uk)</div>
How did it all start for you? 
At uni someone had created a computer careers test. It said I should become a politician or a minister of religion and I thought &#8216;a minister of religion sounds close but I&#8217;m not really religious enough&#8217;. I was an English teacher, did admin for the Church of England then became a life coach for 15 years. Then we were going to have a celebrant for a funeral&#8230; it made me look more into it&#8230; how it&#8217;s like the priestly thing but without having a religion. One night I thought I just needed a sign&#8230; then the next day I was at my networking group and someone said &#8220;have you thought about being a celebrant, because I think you&#8217;d be really good. &#8221; I did a friend&#8217;s wedding and that was it&#8230;
Besides weddings and funerals what else can a celebrant cover? 
Vow renewals, baby naming, a house warming, or even a divorce &#8211; it can be really positive like a rebirth, or something that helps the children, a healing ceremony. Grayson Perry conducted one in his last series. Then there&#8217;s coming of age ceremonies, even start of the menses or menopause&#8230; it&#8217;s not for everyone but we can celebrate all of life, even the shitty bits!
<div id="attachment_37507" style="width: 1010px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img aria-describedby="caption-attachment-37507" decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="size-full wp-image-37507" src="https://sussex.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Goble-Photography-goblephotography.co_.uk_.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="668" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Goble-Photography-goblephotography.co_.uk_.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Goble-Photography-goblephotography.co_.uk_-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Goble-Photography-goblephotography.co_.uk_-768x513.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Goble-Photography-goblephotography.co_.uk_-720x481.jpg 720w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" />goblephotography.co.uk</div>
What unusual ceremonies have you done? 
As part of a comic con I did a Star Wars wedding. They had to promise to make the Death Star a comfortable home! We also did a surprise on stage for a couple who were really into Star Trek, they thought they&#8217;d won a competition then one of them dropped to one knee&#8230;  Afterwards I did a Vulcan blessing. Actually, Star Trek comes up a lot and at the end everyone does a Vulcan salute.
A couple are getting married at Newhaven Fort and they want references throughout to things they are into like Stranger Things and Harry Potter, RuPaul and musicals.
I&#8217;ve had weddings for people who are really into sailing and we&#8217;ve done a hand fasting ceremony with yacht cords instead.
Last year I conducted the <a href="https://creatingceremony.com/celebrant-life/itv-this-morning-wedding-live-from-the-royal-albert-hall-the-inside-goss-from-the-celebrant/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">live wedding</a> from the Royal Albert Hall for ITV&#8217;s This Morning with Holly and Phillip (who I used to have a big crush on!)
What&#8217;s the process of working with a celebrant? 
If I&#8217;m available on the date then I have a no obligation meeting with them. I think it&#8217;s important, especially for weddings, that both parties should be 100% &#8216;hell yeah&#8217; about me doing their ceremony. Then if they want to go ahead I will give them a questionnaire about their love story.
With some we&#8217;re emailing constantly with ideas and get to be friends, others will want to do it all nearer the time. I tell them &#8220;use me as a human Pinterest board!&#8221; Then I will do a draft and read it to them. If one or both are in tears that&#8217;s a good sign! Then we&#8217;ll tweak it a bit and do a rehearsal. We develop that relationship over months, sometimes even years. I only do one ceremony a day so I&#8217;m not rushing to another.
<div id="attachment_37515" style="width: 1010px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img aria-describedby="caption-attachment-37515" decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="size-full wp-image-37515" src="https://sussex.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/2Sven-Arnstein-staystillproductions.com_.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="747" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/2Sven-Arnstein-staystillproductions.com_.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/2Sven-Arnstein-staystillproductions.com_-300x224.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/2Sven-Arnstein-staystillproductions.com_-768x574.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/2Sven-Arnstein-staystillproductions.com_-669x500.jpg 669w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" />(staystillproductions.com)</div>
Can you include religious elements?
Yes, a registrar can&#8217;t but a celebrant can. Also, if you don&#8217;t want a religious ceremony with hymns you can still get people to sing along. &#8216;You&#8217;re just too good to be true, can&#8217;t take my eyes off of you&#8230;&#8217; is a good one especially when it gets to the &#8216;do do do do&#8217; bit! At baby namings sometimes we have nursery rhymes or the hokey cokey!
Are your weddings legally binding? 
No, if you want that (not all couples actually do) you need to visit a registry office before or after. I had one couple who didn&#8217;t want a traditional marriage who called it a &#8216;forevering&#8217;. Hand-fasting ceremonies traditionally lasted for a &#8216;year and a day&#8217; and you renewed it. A marriage is a social contract, legally binding or not.
Because we are less mainstream we can have the ceremony anywhere you want, so outdoors is fine, or in somebody&#8217;s house, all cool. I did a wedding last year for a couple in a hospice. The staff completely transformed the cafe for them. I was asked to do one once in a dungeon for a polyamorous couple but that didn&#8217;t come off.
<div id="attachment_37514" style="width: 1010px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img aria-describedby="caption-attachment-37514" decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="size-full wp-image-37514" src="https://sussex.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Matt-Ethan-Photography-mattethan.co_.uk_.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="668" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Matt-Ethan-Photography-mattethan.co_.uk_.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Matt-Ethan-Photography-mattethan.co_.uk_-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Matt-Ethan-Photography-mattethan.co_.uk_-768x513.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Matt-Ethan-Photography-mattethan.co_.uk_-720x481.jpg 720w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" />Matt Ethan Photography (mattethan.co.uk)</div>
What are ceremony trends at the moment? 
I think there are more with a simple pared back look and style, so it&#8217;s all about their story and bringing that out into the rest of their day. Also there are ideas and traditions around weddings that the couples I work with are starting to question.
I&#8217;ll do pretty much anything for a ceremony, so long as it doesn&#8217;t offend or involve sacrificing a goat on an altar, except say, &#8220;who gives this woman to be married to this man?&#8221; You are nobody&#8217;s possession. Also rather than &#8220;you may kiss the bride&#8221; I prefer something like &#8220;now seems a good time for a snog!&#8221;
What do you think of the show Married at First Sight? 
I love that programme! I shouldn&#8217;t but I&#8217;m such a big romantic and falling in love is a risk anyway. I do advocate people work for it but are also realistic and if it&#8217;s not working out don&#8217;t carry on with all the resentment.
<div id="attachment_37513" style="width: 1010px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img aria-describedby="caption-attachment-37513" decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="size-full wp-image-37513" src="https://sussex.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Carl-Thomson-Photography-ctphoto.co_.uk_.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="668" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Carl-Thomson-Photography-ctphoto.co_.uk_.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Carl-Thomson-Photography-ctphoto.co_.uk_-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Carl-Thomson-Photography-ctphoto.co_.uk_-768x513.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/sussex/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2019/04/Carl-Thomson-Photography-ctphoto.co_.uk_-720x481.jpg 720w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" />Carl Thomson Photography (ctphoto.co.uk)</div>
What&#8217;s on your ceremony wish list? 
I keep thinking it would be really great to have a magician as part of a wedding ceremony, pulling the rings out of nowhere. I&#8217;d love to do one abroad somewhere especially in the mountains. I know a celebrant from Iceland who puts up pictures of the most amazing places. Closer to home, there&#8217;s a place called Two Woods at Pulborough which is a lovely place with a big redwood forest forming a natural aisle.
This is the best job in the world, I get to tell people&#8217;s stories, whether that be their love stories for weddings or their life stories for funerals.
<a href="https://creatingceremony.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">creatingceremony.com</a>

Celebrating celebrants

You may also like